October 25, 2022
Satire: Menlo Park Solves Bike Safety with Genius Spray-Paint
As far back as anyone can remember, bikers heading home from M-A faced a grave threat on Oak Grove Avenue: a large tree root protruding into the bike lane. Luckily,…
August 22, 2022
Satire: Five Pieces of Advice to Incoming Freshmen
As an incoming freshman, you’ve reached a new checkpoint in your very own teenage coming-of-age story. On this side of the glorious gates of high school (and behind M-A’s formidable…
April 28, 2022
A New Pandemic: Upperclassmen Out With “Doctor’s Notes” During the Day, Magically Recover in Time for Prom
In the midst of prom and graduation season, an alarming surge in doctor’s notes has plagued the M-A campus. Citing diagnoses of “prom-unworthy hair” and “chronically-bare nails,” droves of students…
January 19, 2022
Satire: Advice From an Unemployed College Counselor
This article will be published in this year’s Winter 2022 Issue of The Mark. written by Juliana Jones Hi, I’m Juliana, a college admissions and testing expert. For some background,…
April 23, 2021
Satire: Senioritis? Get Well Soon
Illustration by Ashley Trail It’s no question that this past year has been incredibly difficult for all of us...well, almost all of us. The Class of 2021 actually lucked out…
August 14, 2019
Satire: Record Low Number of Fights This School Year
As of this 2019-2020 school year, there have been a record-breaking 0 number of fights. “I deleted my snapchat,” said a senior. “There’s no use for it anymore.” “I feel…
February 14, 2018
Satire: Climate change is a hoax
When formulating one’s opinions on the environment and — dare I say it — global warming, it’s easy to rule out the phonies; they call themselves “scientists.” Currently, in New…
December 1, 2017
Men II Boiz Hit Single “Can $huffle” Breaks Boundaries of Hip Hop
In order to promote M-A's Canned Food Drive, senior president, Ian Peterson and vice president, Jean Claverie wrote, recorded, and performed the “Can $huffle.” Claverie and Peterson call themselves Men…
June 4, 2017
Bear Bites: The Last Bite
Jasper With our last installment of Bear Bites looming, Ben and I knew we had to end the series with a bang. During our tenure as the writers of what…