Satire Archives - M-A Chronicle

Satire Top Stories

March 8, 2023

Satire: How to Make Women Feel Welcome at the Gym

There’s nothing quite as refreshing as the smell of sweat, sanitizer, and seeing men make it their life’s work to look like an anime character while women’s jaws hit the…

Emma Buck 0

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Satire Top Stories

March 6, 2023

Satire: A Truly Transcendent Textbook

Illustrated by Helena Warner I’m done with my homework. I’ve solved all the problems, responded to every discussion post, and studied each flashcard. It took a few hours, but I’m…

Kira Jones 0

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Satire Top Stories Uncategorized

February 28, 2023

Satire: Join the Be-YOU-Tiful Club Today!

Let’s face it, the college system is broken. A good old under the table bribe won’t slide you right into college anymore. Universities are increasingly considering—and I say this with…

Dylan Lanier 0

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Campus News Satire Top Stories

December 12, 2022

Satire: Campus Burns Down Due to Fire

Illustration by Helena Warner Last Friday, M-A burned to the ground after no one realized it was on fire. Although the fire alarms at school are completely functional, instruction continued…

Jayna Chua 1

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Campus Editors' Picks Guns Satire Top Stories

December 8, 2022

Satire: A Message from the Menlo-Atherton Administration

Este mensaje no continúa en español. Greetings M-A Students, Though we emailed your parents three weeks ago, we want to keep you up-to-date with the latest bad thing happening on…

Adrian Deutscher-Bishop 0

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Country Culture Events Satire Sports Top Stories

December 1, 2022

Satire: US Men’s Soccer Team Obliterates England in Decisive World Cup Victory

Last Friday, the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team defeated England in a crushing victory. Following a hearty Thanksgiving feast, our athletes were stuffed full of turkey, cranberry sauce, and patriotism which…

Devon Schindler 0

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California Community Events News Opinion Satire Top Stories

October 25, 2022

Satire: Menlo Park Solves Bike Safety with Genius Spray-Paint

As far back as anyone can remember, bikers heading home from M-A faced a grave threat on Oak Grove Avenue: a large tree root protruding into the bike lane. Luckily,…

Adrian Deutscher-Bishop 2

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News Satire Top Stories

August 22, 2022

Satire: Five Pieces of Advice to Incoming Freshmen

As an incoming freshman, you’ve reached a new checkpoint in your very own teenage coming-of-age story. On this side of the glorious gates of high school (and behind M-A’s formidable…

Sheryl Chen 0

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Culture Events Satire Top Stories

April 28, 2022

A New Pandemic: Upperclassmen Out With “Doctor’s Notes” During the Day, Magically Recover in Time for Prom

In the midst of prom and graduation season, an alarming surge in doctor’s notes has plagued the M-A campus. Citing diagnoses of “prom-unworthy hair” and “chronically-bare nails,” droves of students…

Juliana Jones 0

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Campus Features Opinion Satire Top Stories

January 19, 2022

Satire: Advice From an Unemployed College Counselor

This article will be published in this year’s Winter 2022 Issue of The Mark. written by Juliana Jones Hi, I’m Juliana, a college admissions and testing expert. For some background,…

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