Bearly News (satire pieces)

February 3, 2017

Satire: New Study Finds Alien Species Present on Earth #notmyspecies

Scientists at the Syrian Research Facility (SRF) believe they have discovered an alien life form on earth. This “tremendous” discovery is expected to have devastating…

Jake Foster

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Bearly News (satire pieces)Satire Top Stories

January 30, 2017

Satire: High School Student Gets a Good Night’s Sleep

Last night, junior Jeffrey Campbell reportedly achieved the eight hours of sleep recommended by the American Sleep Association, becoming at once both a role model…

Jasper Fu

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Bearly News (satire pieces)News

December 24, 2016

Satire: Male Birth Control Study Reveals Horrible Side Effects

A recent study commissioned by the World Health Organization (WHO) to test a male contraceptive was cut short after most of the participants experienced life-altering…

Fiona Lokey

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Bearly News (satire pieces)Satire Top Stories

September 6, 2016

Satire: College Board Releases Preliminary Testing Instructions

For the 2016-2017 school year, the College Board has released the pre-test instructions for the PSAT online ahead of time. In an attempt to address…

Jasper Fu

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Bearly News (satire pieces)Satire Top Stories

April 21, 2016

Satire: AP Teachers Not Stressed at all in the Face of Upcoming Exams

As Advanced Placement exams creep ever closer, many M-A teachers are reporting an oppressive sense of calm washing over them. They have covered all the…

Sophie Zalipsky

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Bearly News (satire pieces)News Satire Top Stories

February 25, 2016

Satire: M-A Teen Comes Out As Republican

Shocking family members in his Menlo Park home, Grant Jefferson, an M-A senior, decided it was time to come out and reveal to the world…

Kyle Dixon

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Bearly News (satire pieces)Opinion Satire

January 11, 2016

Satire: Greetings from Alfalpha University!

Greetings from the admissions office at Alfalpha University! We hope that you consider our institution during your search for the right college. At Alfalpha, you'll…

Kyle Dixon

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