Satire

Culture M-A Events Satire Top Stories

April 28, 2022

A New Pandemic: Upperclassmen Out With “Doctor’s Notes” During the Day, Magically Recover in Time for Prom

In the midst of prom and graduation season, an alarming surge in doctor’s notes has plagued the M-A campus. Citing diagnoses of “prom-unworthy hair” and…

Juliana Jones 0

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Campus Features Opinion Satire Top Stories

January 19, 2022

Satire: Advice From an Unemployed College Counselor

This article will be published in this year’s Winter 2022 Issue of The Mark. written by Juliana Jones Hi, I’m Juliana, a college admissions and…

Juliana Jones 0

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Satire Top Stories

April 23, 2021

Satire: Senioritis? Get Well Soon

Illustration by Ashley Trail It’s no question that this past year has been incredibly difficult for all of us...well, almost all of us. The Class…

Emily Xi 0

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Satire Top Stories

August 14, 2019

Satire: Record Low Number of Fights This School Year

As of this 2019-2020 school year, there have been a record-breaking 0 number of fights. “I deleted my snapchat,” said a senior. “There’s no use…

Sarah Marks 1

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Satire Top Stories

February 14, 2018

Satire: Climate change is a hoax

When formulating one’s opinions on the environment and — dare I say it — global warming, it’s easy to rule out the phonies; they call…

Mara Cavallaro

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Review Satire Top Stories

December 1, 2017

Men II Boiz Hit Single “Can $huffle” Breaks Boundaries of Hip Hop

In order to promote M-A's Canned Food Drive, senior president, Ian Peterson and vice president, Jean Claverie wrote, recorded, and performed the “Can $huffle.” Claverie…

Jake Foster

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Bear Bites Culture Satire

June 4, 2017

Bear Bites: The Last Bite

Jasper With our last installment of Bear Bites looming, Ben and I knew we had to end the series with a bang. During our tenure…

Jasper Fu

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Satire Top Stories

May 23, 2017

Satire: M-A’s Ben Wellington Departing to Star In Newest Season Of “The Bachelor”

A shock to the M-A community, the beloved history, economics, and journalism teacher Ben Wellington announced last month that he will not be returning to…

Jackson Confer

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Satire Top Stories

April 16, 2017

M-A Student Plans Groundbreaking ‘Promposal’

As M-A students head into April with the last of their college decisions in hand, upperclassmen from all walks of life are united by a…

Ben Strehlow

Love0

Bearly News (satire pieces)Satire Top Stories

January 30, 2017

Satire: High School Student Gets a Good Night’s Sleep

Last night, junior Jeffrey Campbell reportedly achieved the eight hours of sleep recommended by the American Sleep Association, becoming at once both a role model…

Jasper Fu

Love0

A New Pandemic: Upperclassmen Out With “Doctor’s Notes” During the Day, Magically Recover in Time for Prom

Satire: Advice From an Unemployed College Counselor

Satire: Senioritis? Get Well Soon

Satire: Record Low Number of Fights This School Year

Satire: Climate change is a hoax

Men II Boiz Hit Single “Can $huffle” Breaks Boundaries of Hip Hop

Bear Bites: The Last Bite

Satire: M-A’s Ben Wellington Departing to Star In Newest Season Of “The Bachelor”

M-A Student Plans Groundbreaking ‘Promposal’

Satire: High School Student Gets a Good Night’s Sleep

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